Tales of Squidphonia
by zelasswilder
Summary: It's been all work and no play for Regal since the journey of the two worlds has ended, much to Zelos's annoyance, but when a girl with a squidly resemblance to himself shows up on the shores of Altamira's resort, he can't help but be drawn away from his duties out of curiosity.


_ These humans and elves and everything in between..._

_ They are all the same._

_ They will all become dirt underneath my feet._

_ I will conquer them._

_ Just you wait and see._

Busy. Regal was always so busy. No matter how hard he tried, the papers on his desk never lessened, the meetings never stopped, and the hotel never hit vacancy. Business was better than good, it was fantastic, but he was just so busy. He didn't have time to play around and babysit Zelos right now, he just didn't.

Zelos did not seem to care though.

He stood across Regal's desk, sitting in the guest chair in such a way that the very top of backrest was being used to seat his rear while the usual bottom of the chair was being used for his feet. As though Zelos needed extra height to look down his nose at Regal.

"You work too much," he said. "All you do every time I come here is stay cooped up in this dank office. Do you even remember what the sun looks like anymore?" Zelos asked, eyebrows pulled together inquisitively.

"Don't be absurd, of course I do," Regal mumbled down at his papers. "I have a window."

"Don't you _miss _it?" the redhead was shocked.

"I passed on my duties to George for so long, it is only fair that I should be-"

"Oh, not this crap agaaaaaain," Zelos moaned.

Regal blinked, taken aback by such an abrupt intercession. He stared at the younger man and asked, "What are you talking about?"

Zelos straightened up, as though his spine was a string pulled taut. He puffed out his chest, squared his shoulders, and fixed his mouth into an incredibly dramatic looking frown.

"I must atone for the sins of my past. One time I did not finish my plate for dinner and I regret it fully so now I finish two plates of food every night instead of one as recompense."

His voice was comically deep and Regal felt a blush settling in on his cheeks.

"I-I do not sound like-"

"Once," Zelos's arms whipped out simultaneously, held by invisible handcuffs, "I accidentally stepped on a dog's tail while not watching where I was walking and I am truly hell bound for it, despite my trudging through a path made of sincere apology. Now, every time I see a dog, I lay down and let him step upon me because that is due payment for my _siiiiins_."

"Are you done yet?" Regal growled.

Zelos's hands separated and he broke into a grin and out of his impression.

"Man, you just gotta get out of here! Go to the beach!"

The redhead swept out an arm towards the window in a grandiose gesture.

"It's right there!"

Regal turned his gaze down to the paper work in front of him.

"I have to finish this."

Zelos's body flopped dramatically forward and onto the desk, knocking papers all about the room.

"Hey!" Regal exclaimed.

"Go to the beeeeeeeeeach," Zelos whined.

"Even if I were to go to the beach, I would not go with you," Regal grumbled, shoving Zelos off the desk and back into his chair. "Watching you chase skirts is not on my to-do list."

"Harsh," but Zelos laughed anyway.

His chuckles were cut short when the door of Regal's office opened with a loud burst.

"Mr. President!" It was an office worker. "Something terrible is happening on the beach!"

Regal got up from his seat quickly.

"I'll be right there."

The office worker hurried away and Zelos jumped to his feet, toddling behind Regal with a large grin on his face.

"If you had listened to me in the first place, you'd already be there to apprehend this terrible situation, y'know," he sing-songed.

"I cannot be everywhere at once. It is just as likely something could go wrong near the rides as it is to go wrong at the beach," Regal snipped.

"Yeah, but if you hung out at the beach you'd at least get some sun."

Zelos was practically bouncing when they reached the conveyor cart, a grin plastered on his face as he looked at Regal.

"Maybe some mojitos too, get a date in there, have some fun—you remember what fun is right?"

"I don't think our ideas of 'fun' coincide in many areas," the older man mumbled.

"That's because you don't have an idea of fun," Zelos countered.

They reached the main body of Altamira rather quickly due to a new update in the conveyor belt tracks (which Regal had gone about surveying the installation himself). The two ran out of the cart and towards the beach where there were screams to be heard.

"What the hell-?"

Regal stopped dead in his tracks, Zelos skidding to a halt behind him and they gawked together at the sight before them.

A girl, blue-haired and blue-eyed, was using the ends of her hair like tentacles, wrapping them around the bodies of unsuspecting guests of the resort and lifting them into the air. Once in the air, the tentacles began to shake and swing the guests around while the girl laughed heartily.

"Throw up in my ocean, huh!? Now you can throw up on your land!"

"What?" Zelos choked out, a laugh in the undertones of his voice.

Regal glared at him for finding amusement in the attack.

"Dude, go get your mini me to lay off."

The glare hadn't helped because Zelos was still laughing.

The CEO finished off the distance between he and the girl. His stride long and quick, he jumped through the air and tackled her into the sand, the hair going limp and letting the guests drop. Thankfully Zelos wasn't so entertained that the idea of preserving safety had completely left his mind, because he was the one who caught the victims.

The girl writhed underneath Regal, eyes shut tight as she began to flail about.

"Get the squid off of me!" she shrieked.

Then her eyes opened and she stilled.

"You..."

Her eyes began to fill with tears, and a warm smile graced her lips.

"You're a squid girl too."

"HAH!" Zelos barked out behind them, dissolving into less articulated laughter now.

"I-I... I uhm... Hmm..."

Regal wasn't sure how to react. On one hand, he most definitely was not a squid girl. However... She had stopped fighting once she'd seen him so maybe this could be his way to get her to talk to him. After all, she was only a child.

"You're so squidding bigger than me. You're like a- a- a squid _woman,_" the girl gasped through her blissful tears.

And she didn't gasp it nearly soft enough, because Zelos heard that too and fell into the sand with laughter.

"Uh..."

Nothing was becoming easier to decide as the girl spoke more. Regal eased off of her, settling so that he was resting on his knees and shins, and he examined her quietly.

Annoyingly enough, Zelos was right, and there was definitely more than a passing resemblance between the two of them. Even her hair (tentacles? Oh, who even knew anymore) was the exact same shade, with bangs that were worn at the same length as the Lezerano president's locks were.

Her eyes sparkled as she mirrored his position, completely enamored by his size and squid womanlyness.

"How about you and I go to my office?" Regal asked.

"Oh! Like your base? For surface world domination?!"

She looked like a child about to be taken to the candy store.

"Uhm..."

Why the hell not.

"Yes. My base for surface world domination. We need to go quickly though so people don't realize you're here."

_ And so you don't run off any more guests..._

She clapped her hands together and leaped up to her feet.

"Okay!" she chirped before skipping away.

Zelos was still head down in the sand, his hand wrapped around his stomach as he cackled.

Regal left him there and headed after the girl.


End file.
